


White Burn

by NebulaViburnum



Category: Boyfriend to Death (Visual Novels)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Friendship/Love, Multi, Romance, Sex, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 11:07:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13809915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NebulaViburnum/pseuds/NebulaViburnum
Summary: Wijdan Hannah Kathia didn't expect to be saved by Lawrence Oleander that night when Ren Hana spiked someone else's drink. Only, was she saved? What starts as a complicated situation between "captive" and "captor" becomes more interesting when Ren doesn't like to be left behind and Wijdan is more than both young men can swallow. It seems she has connections of her own. Understandings of her own. Can rehabilitation start with something as fostering love and emotional bonds? Will Wijdan help Lawrence understand how to save his rotting soul?





	White Burn

 

 

Wijdan had decided to go The Jackalope. It was a decent bar and restaurant. It wasn’t like she was expecting something too fancy. She cradled her lemonade and thought of her agent talking about the latest café reviews. “Perhaps, you can go there and give it a whirl. Write about the menu and food. I mean I know you aren’t completely a food critic but we don’t have any pending assignments aside that.”

 

“Why not review Café Royale instead?” She had demanded

 

The man laughed, “Wijdan, that is a five star performing arts joint and you are a novice. If you mess that up we would get into trouble even if we are a pretty well-known lifestyle magazine.”

 

“It’s great you have so much confidence in me.” She said sarcastically while the man laughed.

 

“Hey, it’s nothing personal.” He finished laughing and stated plainly, “It’s just we also have reputation to keep.”

 

Wijdan sighed, “I understand.” Did she? A part of her was fuming. She wished she could go to Café Royale. She had heard some nice stuff about the place. She didn’t want to dwindle here. Well, she just surmounted it as her luck. She was tired today as well. She had written an article for a literary journal and that required a lot of research and time. She had been at it for half a month. _Was_ _today_ _a_ _good_ _day_ _to_ _come_ _here_ _today?_ _I_ _am_ _pretty_ _tired_ _and_ _I_ _don’t_ _feel_ _like_ _munching_ _through_ _this_ _menu_ _._ _Could_ _use_ _improvements_ _._ She just laid down her head.

 

Wijdan awoke to an empty bar and almost fell off her chair. _What_ _is_ _this?!_ _A_ _dream?!_ Then she looked at one lonely person sitting around. She was a bit surprised by him. The man wore something akin to sweatpants. _Or,_ _are_ _they_ _sweats?_ _Wow,_ _talk_ _about_ _wardrobe_ _choices_ _._ She almost wanted to laugh out because she didn’t think sweats were nightwear. _If_ _this_ _is_ _a_ _dream,_ _this_ _is_ _a_ _funny_ _one_ _._ _A_ _man_ _wearing_ _a_ _loose_ _hoodie_ _type_ _of_ _jacket_ _._ _Sweats_ _and_ _a_ _red_ _flannel_ _shirt_ _._ _Now,_ _those_ _look_ _like_ _a_ _quick_ _mashup_ _._ She approached him a bit cautiously. Pinched herself to see if she was not dreaming, “So, you are real.”

 

“What?” The man nervously looked at her. It was as if he was in a panic mode.

 

“Wow, calm down. I am sorry to disturb you. Can you please tell me what the time is? I was supposed to review this place but I was too tired and fell asleep.” Wijdan explained, though she still scrutinised the man. She wondered why was he here, this that ensemble and also why he seemed so panicked and stress. Usually, the men she encountered in the night scene _feigned_ confidence. This man didn’t feign anything. Not even a good outfit arrangement sense. Not that she didn’t find this untidiness not _appealing_ in its own right. _Well,_ _he_ _is_ _honest_ _to_ _an_ _extent_ _._ _Perhaps,_ _he_ _doesn’t_ _care_ _._ _Or,_ _is_ _it_ _ignorance_ _and_ _not_ _nonchalance_? She thought as she saw his demeanour change to a more relaxed one.

 

“Uh, it’s 1:45am close to closing time.” _Well,_ _that_ _would_ _make_ _sense_ _why_ _you_ _are_ _so_ _dressed_ _so_ _casually_. Wijdan thought. No one was around aside them. Her own ensemble was a light, emerald green turtleneck top, fit to wear even in a warmer climate, a long grey skirt that was chic but also brown leather boots.

 

“Sorry, to bother you though. I should have just checked my cell phone or the clock around that corner.” Wijdan realised she was so groggy that she forgot the most usual methods to tell time.

 

“It’s alright.’ The man seemed to blush and Wijdan noticed that he was now relaxed than usual.

 

“So, do you come here often?”

 

“Sometimes.” The man answered with a soft smile, “I am actually waiting on a friend. He was supposed to come here. I think he’s running late.”

 

“Oh,” Wijdan wondered what sort of friend he would be, Is it a fuck buddy? _Damn,_ _maybe_ _I_ _should_ _leave_ _._ _Well,_ _that_ _still_ _explains_ _more_ _of_ _the_ _clothes_ _because_ _like_ _I_ _wouldn’t_ _always_ _be_ _dressed_ _to_ _the_ _nines_ _to_ _meet_ _my_ _fuck_ _buddy_ _._ “Then I will leave you be.” Wijdan didn’t want to intrude on a late-night rendezvous.

 

“No. You are not really bothering me.” The man spoke pretty low and with nervousness, “Rather,” he looked indecisive, “I think I am glad you came along. I was getting a bit bored waiting by myself.”

 

Wijdan didn’t know how to compute that. The man seemed pretty odd and a bit shy. She didn’t know if she should trust him, “Well, I don’t mind keeping you company until they arrive.” Though Wijdan’s gut told her it may have been better to leave, “Uh, what’s your name?” She saw a beautiful looking man despite the dress sense. He had really smooth golden hair and light deep blue eyes that were close to the colour of a clear sky.

 

“My name is Lawrence Oleander.” He nervously smiled.

 

“Oh, I am Wijdan Kathia.” She knew he may ask her where she was from. She didn’t have an American accent. Her accent was a bit Irish. Well, her mother was Irish. And her father was South Asian-American.

 

“Wijdan is a very uncommon name.” Lawrence tongued the name smoothly.

 

“I don’t think I have met a lot of people with the name Oleander as a surname. It sounds pretty.” She replied.

 

He blushed at that, “Thank You. I like your name. It’s pretty as well.”

 

“Uh, thanks.” Wijdan didn’t know if she should just excuse herself. Small talk was literally smallest talk. She rather go home and sleep off her tiredness. She had to come back her tomorrow evening to sample the menu and talk about things in the review she wanted to plan. _Wonder_ _if_ _I_ _should_ _write_ _guy_ _with_ _sweats,_ _good_ _looking_ _and_ _shy,_ _can_ _find_ _him_ _as_ _the_ _friendly_ _ghost_ _of_ _the_ _place_ _._ She almost laughed though she didn’t trust Lawrence one bit. Something, about him seemed off. Didn’t know why.

 

“Well, I —“

 

“Hey, Lawrence!” A young man who looked like he had fox ears and a tail appeared, “Sorry to keep you waiting.” Then he looked at her, “Hi there! You’re pretty!”

 

“Uh, Thank You.” Wijdan had to admit the young man was cute and attractive himself. He was wearing a hoodie and jeans and converse and looked more typical than Lawrence. “I am Wijdan. I was just keeping Lawrence company while you arrived.”

 

“You don’t have to leave.” The young looked at her body and looked at her face and absolutely beamed, “Right Lawrence she should stay!”

 

“Uh, I don’t mind.” Lawrence blushed.

 

_Uh,_ _okay_. Wijdan herself was feeling uncomfortable, _Why_ _are_ _they_ _acting_ _so_ _blushy_ _around_ _me?_ _Do_ _they_ _find_ _me_ _sexy?_ _I_ _mean_ _I_ _am_ _not_ _bad_ _looking_ _but_ _…_ _I_ _guess_ _they_ _are_ _honest_.

 

“My name is Ren. Ren Hana.” He smiled at her and Lawrence, “Let me get us some drinks okay.”

 

Wijdan saw him bounce off, “Is it fair for him to pay for _all_ our drinks?”

 

“Ren is just nice.” Lawrence gave a consensus.

 

_I_ _don’t_ _know_ _._ _He_ _looks_ _years_ _younger_ _than_ _me_ _._ _Should_ _I_ _be_ _asking_ _him_ _to_ _buy_ _drinks_ _for_ _us?_ Wijdan thought. Then she sat down and thought she could probably get him the next round of drinks if they were any.

 

Ren brought the drinks. They all seemed to be whiskey. “So, Wijdan? What are you doing here so late? Did you and your boyfriend have a spat?” Ren asked, bright eyed.

 

Wow, he is forward. “Uh, not really. I was supposed to review this place but turned out I couldn’t as I was tired and fell asleep and when I woke up Lawrence was here.” She thought it strange that they would meet at night. She wondered if Ren was Lawrence’s fuck buddy or not. If they were, why did they need her around?

 

“Oh, that sounds too bad.” Ren looked a bit sad, “I am sure your reviews are good. I just met Lawrence today. We been talking on the net.” _Wow,_ _talk_ _about_ _a_ _weird_ _time_ _for_ _a_ _meeting_ _._ Wijdan was still sure some weird thing was involved and she didn’t know if she should get involved. Something about the entire thing looked shady and untrustworthy. Yet, she was always a curious sort. Perhaps, that’s why she wasn’t hightailing it out of there.

 

“I don’t usually sleep at night.” It was as if Lawrence sensed her internal questioning, “So, I told Ren to meet me now.” Lawrence still seemed guarded and ever since Ren had come along his nervousness had come around once more. _Still,_ _1:45am?_ _Like,_ _maybe_ _I_ _should_ _leave_ _._ _What_ _if_ _these_ _guys_ _are_ _planning_ _something_ _and_ _I_ _just_ _am_ _delaying_ _them_? She hid a mischievous smirk. _Lucky_ _guys,_ _both_ _are_ _pretty_ _attractive_.

 

“Uh…that’s…”

 

Suddenly, Wijdan saw Lawrence looking at her. And then she looked down and saw she was taking a sip of out something. “That’s the drink I bought for Lawrence.” Ren looked a bit annoyed.

 

“Oh, I am sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.” Then she looked at both of them, “Are you two okay?”

 

“Yes…” Lawrence was sweating bullets.

 

“Yeah, it’s cool.” Ren perked up again.

 

Why do I feel there is something off even if a moment ago I thought they were gonna fuck each other?

 

Suddenly, Ren got up, “Well, Wijdan.” He took out a piece of paper and wrote his number, “Call me.” He winked, “You got such a pretty name.” And he started walking and Lawrence looked shocked, confused and started to panic.

 

“Hey! Ren! Wait up!”

 

“Random.” Wijdan muttered to herself and started to leave. She was a bit irritated herself. She hardly understood what was the reason Ren and Lawrence met so late at night. Nor did she understand if her presence interfered with whatever original plan they had.

 

She was walking towards the street when a very defeated looking Lawrence seemed to come over. “Ren and I, we can’t be it seems. I don’t understand. I thought he would accept me and understand me. But, he seemed pretty uninterested in me. What happened?”

 

“You know I was wondering the same thing.” She had taken Ren’s number but it was more out of politeness than anything, “It seemed he just came and left with no explanation. Have you guys been friends for a long time?”

 

Lawrence seemed to pay no attention. “I don’t understand. I thought he would understand. I thought he would like me.”

 

“I am sorry it didn’t work out the way you wanted.” Wijdan was getting a bad vibe from Lawrence, his face was somewhat hidden, and his expression, from what she could discern, was not pleasant. She started to walk back and away.

 

“It’s not fair…Why isn’t it fair?!” And Lawrence looked like he was ready to strike at her and wanted to punch her.

 

Wijdan gave a yell o surprise and evaded him and elbowed his face making him jostle back, “God, you creep! Stay away from me!”

 

Wijdan started running and Lawrence looked shocked and confused when she left him. Good God, what the fuck is wrong with him?! She rounded right into a corner bumping into Ren Hana.

 

“Wow, is everything okay?” Ren asked quietly

 

_Shit,_ _is_ _this_ _some_ _joke?_ She saw this was akin to a cul-de-sac. “Ren. Lawrence is a bit…something is wrong with him. He tried attacking me.”

 

Ren smiled brightly, “Don’t worry Wijdan. I’ll protect you.”

 

_That_ _doesn’t_ _sound_ _reassuring_. Wijdan suddenly started to feel dizzy. _What_ _…_ _the_ _…_ _oh,_ _don’t_ _tell_ _me_ _…_

 

“Hey. Don’t worry.” Ren smiled, “I’ll take good care of — hey!”

 

Lawrence tackled him and they seem to get into a scuffle and Lawrence punched him hard in the face.

 

That was the last thing she remembered.

 

* * *

 

 

_What_ _the_ _fuck_ _is_ _that_ _smell?_  
  
Wijdan was pretty pissed off. She realised that someone, most probably so-called innocent looking Ren, had spiked her drink. _Wait,_ _that_ _drink_ _was_ _meant_ _for_ _Lawrence_ _._ _So,_ _that_ _means_ _…_ _Ugh,_ _what_ _am_ _I_ _in_ _the_ _middle_ _of_ _._ _Seems_ _shady_ _as_ _fuck_ _._

 

“What I am gonna do? I couldn’t just leave her there. She needed me. Yeah, but what if she gets angry. I am so worried.” She heard Lawrence mumbling in the center of a room. Wijdan saw all the plants surrounding the place. God, what is this some wannabe greenhouse or atrium? Why is it so sickly sweet in here…these plants? And, it’s so humid.

 

“Hey…” she called out to him.

 

He spun around scared for a moment then smiled a nervous smile, “Oh, you are awake? Are you feeling okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m…” That is when Wijdan realised. She couldn’t move freely. She looked down and saw she was strapped to a chair. “What the hell…?” Terror sparked in her eyes in a moment, “Did you just…” Then she looked angrily at Lawrence, “What is this? Why I am I tied to a chair?!”

 

Lawrence was nervous as she saw her agitation. “Actually, I can explain.”

 

Wijdan looked at him like he was crazy. “Hey,” Lawrence looked glum, “Don’t look at me like that. Let me explain first.”

 

Wijdan didn’t know if he should trust anything he would want to say. At the same time, she knew she was in a precarious position. She stayed silent and didn’t properly look at him. Though she did pay attention.

 

“Basically, umm.” He nervously spoke, “You fainted and I realised I couldn’t leave you alone in the alley. So, I decided to bring you back to my place.”

 

“Thank You.” Wijdan accommodated a reply, “But, why have you tied me? I am sure I have done anything for that?”

 

“Oh, that. I just did…that…” Lawrence fretted.

 

“But, that’s…” suddenly Wijdan glared, “This is wrong. If you saved me why do you need to imprison me?”

 

“Saved you…” Lawrence analysed those words.

 

“I am pretty sure you did.” Wijdan choice her words carefully, though she looked at her wrists in anger, “Though you are the reason I am in this predicament?”

 

“I…uh…” Lawrence looked confused.

 

“You tried to punch me.” Wijdan said with some force, “Then Ren came along and…wait, I accidentally drank your drink. So, does that mean Ren meant to spike your drink?”

 

“I…yes…” Lawrence thought it over, “Now, that you mention it. I think so.”

 

“But then he left without even talking to you. Like was he planning on waiting for you? I am not sure. You two are strange.” Wijdan struggled, “Look, I appreciate your help and all. But I need to go. I have a review to write and things to do.”

 

Lawrence looked unamused, “You don’t seem grateful for me bringing you back here.”

 

“I am grateful you helped me. But I don’t know why you have tied me up. It seems weird.” Wijdan reasoned.

 

“I…like you…” Lawrence blushed, “I want to get you know you better.”

 

“Are you fucking serious?!” Wijdan was so pissed, “This isn’t the way you get to know someone!”

 

“Don’t yell, please.” Lawrence looked sad, “I don’t plan on harming you. Perhaps you need more rest right?”

 

“What are you talking about? I am already been passed out for a while.” Wijdan was losing her patience.

 

“You are diurnal yes?” It’s the way he phrased it that seemed off. Wait, he isn’t? I mean I know some people stay up nights but him saying that way is strange. I know he mentioned this back in the pub. But, it feels weird.

 

“Would you want some tea? To help you sleep?”

 

“No. I am sure I will rest by myself.” She wanted to see what he does.

 

Lawrence stated, “Don’t worry just give me a few hours. I will sleep up and we can talk.”

 

As soon as Lawrence took off his shirt to go to bed. Wijdan started tearing the wraps off. It took around 20 minutes to get one hand free. Fuck, this place is hot and humid. And, that smell…Was it him? Why does he smell like that?

 

She got up and saw a pair of garden shears. It was early evening when she got out and she looked at the shears and wondered what to do. She got on Lawrence and he woke up and looked at her surprised and scared. “Now, I wanna get to know you better.” She was enraged, “You see there is something REALLY FUCKED UP in doing something like this to someone especially, if you wanna know them better.”

 

Lawrence saw her angry face and was actually speechless, “What were you planning on doing raping me? Hurting me?” Wijdan laughed making him shudder, “You are pathetic.” She got on top of him and saw him teary-eyed now. “Why did you do this? Why did Ren do this?”

 

“I don’t know…I panicked…I wanted to know you but I don’t know how…I…” Lawrence was literally crying, “Are you going to kill me?”

 

“Fuck you, you aren’t worth it.” Wijdan snapped.

 

But then she got away from him and talked, “So Lawrence Oleander, what do you do?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I mean you have a profession?”

 

“No. I just do odd jobs and sell seeds and stuff. I usually sell homeopathic medicines. I have a licence.”  He shivered and held himself, “I also do acupuncture at times. And give medicinal massages.”  The he smiled shyly, “What about you?”

 

“I am a freelance writer of plants, urban legends, political science and some related literature.” She knew Lawrence took her as a threat.

 

“How old are you?” Lawrence quickly added, “I know it’s rude to ask a lady —“

 

“I am thirty-four.” Wijdan said nonchalantly.

 

“Wow, you look younger. I am twenty-six close to twenty-seven.” Lawrence looked at her with a sort of sheepish smile.

 

“I guess that’s a compliment.” Wijdan had to smile a bit at that.

 

Lawrence was sitting up in his bed, “So, you have a lilt of a European accent. Any reason?”

 

“My mother is Irish. I think I got most of her accent. My Father is South Asian-American. So, mixture of both of them I suppose.” She explained. She looked a bit like her Dad. His caramel skin melted on her and the low light of the evening hummed on it. Like dark honey. Her hair was blackish-red and her eyes were a mix of dark brown with green tints. She was as almost as tall as Lawrence. She looked at him with his chiselled abs and nice rounded hips and a good chest and she realised he was pretty attractive. He did seem to have good build. Also, there were tattoos on his arms. Like black bands from around the arms. She wondered what was the symbolic meanings of those tattoos.

_Almost_ _like_ _an_ _ouroboros,_ _like_ _something_ _eating_ _itself_. She didn’t know why but the imagery drew up in her head.

 

She found that Lawrence was staring at her. “You. I…uh…” he was being nervous, “You look really beautiful. In the moonlight. Your hair, your skin. Your face. They all glow.” Lawrence was half-blushing as he said this.

 

“You look pretty beautiful as well.” Wijdan commented, “The moon makes night highlights, almost slivery gold on your hair. You have nice eyes that glow in the night it seems. There are pretty translucent. They remind me of dragonfly wings. Soaking up the sky.”

 

Lawrence blushed. “Thank You…”

 

“I hope it didn’t sound pretentious.”

 

“No…No…it was sweet…” Lawrence looked at her.

 

“It was actually something I once wanted to do. I have a cousin who is a biologist and a scientist and she was studying insect bodies. And she showed me the wingspan of a dragonfly and light caught on it and I saw it through the window and I took a picture of it on my phone…” She suddenly realised something, “Hey Lawrence, where is my phone? You didn’t get rid of it did you?” She was looking angry and clutching the shears close to her.

 

“No. No. I have it here.” Lawrence moved to get it.

 

“Yeah, nice and easy.” Wijdan pointed the shears at him and he actually gulped. Then he meekly retrieved her phone and she was surveying him, “Careful…don’t wanna get **cut** now do you?” she was ready on her threat and Lawrence nodded his head and stretched out his arm from the distance and Wijdan snatched her phone. “Thank You.” She said with some class.

 

“Well, I…” she decided, “I am gonna go now.” She looked at the cell phone time, it was close to 9pm. “I Thank You for picking me up when I was unconscious. But the rest of it is just too weird for me. I am not saying you are a bad person but you aren’t pretty nice either. I don’t even know if you understand the severity of your actions towards me.” Wijdan shrugged.

 

Lawrence took the chastisement with a cold yet sad face. “So, you are leaving then?”

 

“Yes. Lawrence, you essentially kidnapped me. You are lucky I didn’t report you to the police!” Wijdan looked angry, “You do realise that what you did was wrong and inappropriate on so many levels, right? It’s wrong of you to do this!” she was somewhat yelling by now.

 

“But I did try to help you!” Lawrence looked angry now too, “You don’t understand that!”

 

“Oh, right by trying to punch me first?” Wijdan challenged, “Am I gonna forget that you literally tried to punch me before you saved me.”

 

“I was just upset.”  Lawrence commented softly, “I been talking with Ren with such a long time. And, then he suddenly sees me and then he doesn’t wanna talk to me anymore. I don’t understand.”

 

“Perhaps, he was worried about you wearing sweatpants and flannel.” Wijdan mocked, “You know that look is not in trend right now, right?”

 

“Stop being so mean!” Lawrence looked really angry now, his fists clenched, “You don’t know anything about me!”

 

“Neither did you.” Wijdan raised the shears to show Lawrence she was not afraid of using them, “You decided that either I was a threat or something you could keep. How does that make me feel?”

 

“All you flowers are the same. Deceptive.” Lawrence looked mad but also frustrated.

 

“Well, I can say the same about you, you literally have the last name Oleander.” Wijdan challenged him again, “Not all flowers are deceptive. You don’t give flowers a — wait a minute. Did you just refer to me as a flower?” Wijdan looked confused and Lawrence looks panicky. “Why would you do that? What do you mean about that?”

 

“Flowers are pretty because they are deceptive and want insects to help them breed. They look like that to act like decoys. They use the insects and they are pretty and deceptive. But attractive, like you.” Lawrence was a bit unfocused when he stated this.

 

“Is that some roundabout way of saying you are attracted to me?” Wijdan started chuckling.

 

“Why are you laughing?” Lawrence looked mad. He looked like he was gonna rush towards her and Wijdan put a stance with the shears.

 

“Insects get something out of the exchange too. Stop trying to treat their agency as nothing.” Then more coldly, “You were acting kind but you tied me up. You wanted me to drink tea, which could have been drugged. You tried to punch me. You brought me here to help you _breed_ conversation.” Then she cruelly smirked, “And, you are calling me the damn flower? While you acted the exact way, you said why you disliked flowers and acted like them down to the T. How can you be this blind to your actions and push your own actions onto others? You are basically acting like a hypocrite. And, hypocrites always have fates worse than death.”

 

Lawrence looked shocked like anything.

 

He had never been challenged like this before.

 

Then he just burst into tears.

 

“Is that…why?” he started shaking and shivering, “My soul is rotting. I am a hypocrite? I am a horrible person. I lied. About myself. Maybe each lie corrupts me? Am I a branded liar? Is that why I am half-dead? I am a monster. I am a monster I am….Ahhh!” he started screaming. “My soul will rot! There won’t be nothing let! My soul will rot!”

 

“Hey stop it!” she approached him with care and shears in hand, “Hey stop, what do you mean your sould is rotting?”

 

“I am alone.” Lawrence didn’t seem to hear her, “I am alone and I am gonna die alone.”

 

“No, you are not. Hey, hey listen to me.”

 

Lawrence now looked at her.

 

“I don’t know what you are struggling against. I know I may not fully understand it. But I know what it’s like to be alone. I don’t want you to be alone. Look, we don’t have to be _this_ whatever this _is_. We can start again and we can actually be better…” _Am_ _I_ _saying_ _the_ _right_ _thing?_ _I_ _mean_ _he_ _could_ _have_ _done_ _anything_ _…_ _though_ _why_ _do_ _I_ _have_ _a_ _feeling,_ _that_ _he_ _isn’t_ _really_ _into_ _sexual_ _assault?_ _He_ _looks_ _like_ _a_ _train_ _wreck_ _and_ _I_ _don’t_ _know_ _._ _I_ _feel_ _I_ _can’t_ _leave_ _him_. But when he touched him she saw it a bit.

 

A White space

 

A Blank.

 

Only the sound of some water trickling down.

 

And some patches of blood started to rip open the space as though it was a pocket all along.

 

Then it was like she was lost in the woods. And some blue eyes looked at her both with sorrow and with hunger. But she glared at the eyes and they seemed subdued.

 

It happened for a moment but she felt she knocked back and was coughing. Wait, don’t I…don’t I? Remember that place? I have seen it somewhere before?

 

“Are you…Are you alright?”

 

Wijdan saw Lawrence looking at her. Concerned.

 

“I…yes…”

 

“Please don’t leave. Can’t you stay?”

 

Lawrence looked like she was begging him.

 

The look was genuine.

 

She felt drawn to his face. A few minutes he was almost convulsing and now he seemed alright. His face tear stained. Tired. Scared. She was seeing his true face. Loneliness and fear etched on it. She took his hand and made him caress her face. Lawrence looked scared but he followed her command. Soon, she caressed his face. Lawrence looked nervous. As if he was opening something akin to a Pandora’s box. Wijdan smiled softly and he close his eyes as she kissed him.

 

Wijdan realised from his kiss that he had something virginal about him. He couldn’t open his mouth or move it. She was patient and slowly just touched lips. Then she bit his lips softly and he moaned at that and shivered. He looked out of breath and was blushing red. She touched his nipple. He squirmed and half-moaned at the loose yet tentative touch of her fingers. She could see an erection starting to build through his sweatpants. She smoothly touched his hands and he cooed as she did do that. She slowly licked his nose. She took off her top. A heaven-sent. This apartment was too hot. She was wearing a lacy green bar inside. He looked at her breasts. They were ample. She was always told that they were a nice size. She nodded. It was a permission. Lawrence quietly touched her breasts through the material and soon licked their surface making Wijdan’s breath hitch. He softly nibbled and she caressed his hair. Kissing it. Lawrence moaned as he felt his body give way to the pleasure of Wijdan stroking his hair. She kissed him again then, as he looked up at her, she opened her mouth and he mimicked it and soon their tongues were meeting. Both of them started making low sounds and hitched voices of pleasure. He started cupping her breasts and she unhooked her bra for him.

 

Lawrence broke the kiss partly to look at Wijdan’s breasts, “They’re beautiful.”

 

“So, are yours.” She rubbed his chest and he did the same for her.

 

Then Wijdan went down and licked his nipple and softly bit it. Lawrence arched his head back a bit and shuddered. Wijdan saw his erection getting bigger. They both got up quietly and went near the bed. Lawrence got on top and caressed and kissed Wijdan’s face. Wijdan softly kissed his cheeks. She had now taken off her skirt too and her boots. She slowly reached for the waistband of his pants and he stopped her for a moment but then allowed her and she took them off.

 

In the moonlight, their sweat and skin shone. Wijdan and Lawrence kissing again. Each tongue knowing the other as branches and vines. Moans coming from each of them. Soon, Lawrence looked at her pleadingly. She nodded, “Yes. Let’s…” he clumsily slipped into her, with two tries. The tightness of her muscles and the wetness reminded him of plants and forests and warm baths. Things that soothed him and he relaxed with a half-moan. Wijdan had gripped his shoulders and also bit her lips, _He fits nice_.

 

“You can move. Let’s move.” Wijdan stated and they both started moving. Hypnotised by their own ardency and their own needs. Lawrence was hot and already covered in sweat. However, after the fifth long stroke, he felt himself coming inside Wijdan. Prematurely. “I’m sorry…I am so sorry…” Lawrence looked teary and ashamed, “I…I never done this…before…not like this…”

 

Wijdan caressed his face, “It’s alright. We will wait.” And she started moving against the cum splattered penis still inside her and rubbed her clit. She moaned and cupped his ass and started massaging it. She bit his shoulder softly and they tongued each other again and she gripped his hair. Moaning into each other. Each a seed blossoming. She pushed heavy against him. Nibbling his chest and kissing and sucking his collarbones. Lawrence started cupping and softly squeezing her breasts and sucking on her. Soon, he returned. Soon they started their rhythm again.

 

Each pulsed now was equal to its own star. Dying and living and thriving. Each thrust like a galaxy in its own right. Wijdan was mewling and calling out his name while he couldn’t resist yells yelps, moans even with gritted teeth. She kissed his forehead. He sucked on her arm and teethed it slightly.

 

Soon, there was an explosion. Petite-morte: a minor death as it was called in another language. Though he saw white he did not meet the river. He did not get consumed by the luminous blankness of nothing. He saw a slice of nirvana and returned to the matter of it. Lawrence looked scared and then elated. She saw swimmings of stars too. Each one wrapped in its own silky coating of bliss. And she kissed him. Open mouthed each tongue now a comet christened to each other.

 

They feel asleep inside each other.

 

Wijdan held him close.

 

No reason or calculation telling her fully if this was an error.

 

Lawrence held her closed and slept in her neck and face.

 

Content. Happy.

 

She felt this a surreal form of beauty. A small elation. For the while.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked that people. Please read and review. Thanks.


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